My 8 year old is begging for a cell phone; "all of her friends have cell phones." She is feeling "left out" and claims she will only use it for emergencies. Is 8 too young for a cell phone?
First, I've heard that "everyone else has it" complaint so many times, and it's not even close to being true! But foremost, I caution my children about feeling left out and not having material things. If you really believe that popularity revolves around what you have, then you have to find friends who value you for who you are. Yes, it is way too young to be responsible for a cell phone. She should always be walking around with an adult, anyway, so what kind of an emergency would she be in? If you're really nervous, there are cell phones that have just three numbers to dial. I'm strongly opposed to kids establishing a sense of security or well-being based on the symbol of owning something..
|
My daughter has been coming up with excuses lately to get out of having dinner with the family. She says she is not hungry, has already eaten, or will eat later on in the evening. Should I force my children to sit at the dinner table whether they are hungry or not, or as she is now nearly 18, should this be her decision?
Absolutely she should sit at the table. Dinner is not just for eating, it's for socializing and spending time together, and chances are, if she sits and looks at the food, she'll get hungry. Sometimes, a child feels that skipping meals is a good way to lose weight. Educate her that eating meals is important to maintain one's metabolism. Skipping meals will ultimately backfire. Don't ever underestimate the possibility of someone developing an eating disorder at any age. Eating disorders are of more concern even than drinking, because they have an emotional impact and can continue throughout life. If you have even the slightest concern that this could turn into an obsession with weight, then immediately address it by emphasizing the importance of portion control and exercise. Even if it's not about weight, and she has too much homework or whatever, she still has to come to dinner. She's part of the family, and opting out of that isn't an option. |
What is the right age to allow your child to begin babysitting? How can I prepare my child for the responsibility of babysitting?
You can allow your child to begin anytime, but will the family allow your child to babysit at this age? One of my daughters began as a mommy's helper at 11 in the summer. She was quite entrepreneurial and brought along a bag of activities and would engage the child in fun things while the mom was there. In advance, I told my daughter: don't turn the television on; clean up everything in the kitchen, even if the family made the mess; stay off your cell phone; never invite anyone over; if you want to eat something, take small bites of a few things - don't finish one thing; if you have to rest at midnight, do so while sitting up, don't be asleep when they walk in; and get the child to bed - bribe, cajole, sing, - if they walk in, and the baby is up you've failed at your job! I believe the Red Cross and the Y offer courses on babysitting techniques - I'm not sure they include the small bites advice, but I stand by it! I really encourage babysitting - it's a flexible job, it instills a sense of responsibility, and it's a good way to make money. My daughter now babysits for six kids on Saturday nights - three different families - and it's taught her a lot about caregiving, organizing her time, being responsible and much more.
| |
Comments