Pam's Practical Parenting; Real Mom, Real Advice: Practical Parenting week of January 18th, 2009
Practical Parenting week of January 18th, 2009
As we approach the forthcoming inauguration and shift in our country's leadership, I sense a poised anticipation and hopefulness that "change is coming;" it has been a rallying campaign slogan. As an entrepreneur and business owner I certainly agree that changing times and circumstances often require expeditious adaptation. However, when it comes to parenting, I am one who believes that there are certain things that should never change. Such as- living your own values, and transmitting them to your children as well as to those who work directly with you and your children. If your core values remain inflexible, I believe you will find grounding- both personally and professionally. Your children, by way of your example, will reap the benefits of your consistent and compassionate guidance.
I would love to hear from you! Please forward your questions and quandaries to: pwolf@nykidsclub.com.
Have a great week,
Pam Wolf
I have a six month old and will be going back to work next month. I am just now starting the process of looking for a nanny and feel clueless when it comes to the interview process. What questions should I ask? How much experience is necessary? Do I schedule a "play date" with the potential caretaker as part of the interview? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
When I was interviewing, I wasn't most concerned with their experience but with whether they were willing to adapt to and embrace my philosophy of raising children, because they would serve as a representation of me when I wasn't there. Once I narrowed the choices down to a few people, I asked each to come in for a two day, paid trial period. In those two days, I gave them little direction, because I wanted to see what they would do on their own - do they hold the baby lovingly, do they sit on the couch a lot? I was very surprised sometimes to see people I really liked initially who over those two days were less impressive. References are secondary. Somebody else saying they were great with their children is nothing because somebody else's definition of "great" isn't necessarily mine.
My 9 year old stole a large bag of candy from our local grocery store. I did not catch him until the bag was empty. I immediately expressed my disappointment in his behavior, explaine d why what he did was wrong and took away several privileges. I feel, however, that at 9 years old he should "know better." Do you think I should bring him back to the grocer to pay for the candy and apologize- even if it means some sort of legal repercussion?
Lying or stealing victimizes others, and there should be zero tolerance for making someone else a victim. Yes, you have to bring that candy back to the grocery store, and you have to pay and apologize. For certain kids,stealing becomes a kind of thrill, and it may grow from there into a bigger challenge. Stealing won't be limited to the grocery store - it could easily morph into stealing from parents or friends.
My tween has been invited to spend a week of spring break at her friend's Connecticut home. My daughter has never been on an extended trip with another family and I am unclear as to what to send her with (aside from clothes, toothbrush and toothpaste). Do I offer the family money to cover costs such as dining out, etc? Should I send her with a gift for the host family? Have you experienced this situation before?
I send my children with a little bit of money, because I want them to have their own money to buy a ticket to a movie or something else that comes up. It's awkward and unnecessary for a child to offer to pay for dinner nor should you, as a parent, offer the family money. It's a given that a guest is a guest. Absolutely you should send a gift along with your child - she can bake something, or she can bring something (a kite, a game) that they might all enjoy over the week. It doesn't have to be big, but it's an acknowledgement that she is appreciative of their hospitality. I have also sent something after the tr ip as a thank you, and I once received a photo album with photographs from the weekend from a guest of ours, which we still enjoy. I insist that they send their hosts a handwritten thank you note after. I've given my children specific advice on being a good guest: fold your clothes and put them in a suitcase; don't spread everything out in the bathroom; if there are younger children in the home, be friendly and gracious to them as well as the whole family. Consideration, gratitude and respect are more important to bring along - in life and on trips - than even a change of underwear.
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